Its been a crazy couple of weeks, I’ve been on a new med for anxiety and while it was fun at first feeling loopy, things have definitely calmed down and my brain is used to it by now.
It’s been strange though, it’s like it only works half the time and the other half of the time I’m crippled by worries about money and my career and my health.
I’m shaking my head because in all honesty I have nothing to worry about, no tangible reason to be so distressed but like, I guess that’s living with schizophrenia, which somehow, twelve years out, I’m still learning to live with.
I’ve been thinking recently a lot about the anxiety that my generation seems to live with.
It’s like almost everyone you talk to is worried about succeeding in their respective careers, they’re worried about not being good enough and they’re worried about the fact that no matter what they do, they can’t seem to get ahead.
I could talk about positive affirmations here, I could talk about the law of attraction or even about praying, but for all the pleading my generation does to God, the universe or whatever benevolent force they believe, it’s like nothing helps.
I don’t know if this is a result of the conditioned mindset that we want the things we want immediately and that we lack patience (thanks to the internet), or if shit just straight up sucks right now.
I and every other millennial would like to achieve a base level of success where we can buy what we want and not have to suffer every month because our rent takes half or more of our paycheck.
I don’t know what to do about it besides root blindly at the bottom of the barrel for more work opportunities and just flat out pray to God that I can get by this month, but I keep trying and that’s what we all do.
The point of all this is to say that if you’re a struggling millennial, I feel you.
In my limited experience, things tend to work out ok in most cases and hopefully that sentiment is enough to calm you down until the day, in the distant future when you happily own your own home, have a family you love (or not depending on your preferences) and have the freedom to buy a new MacBook if you so please.
I wanna feel like there’s some tipping point in all of our lives where the work we’ve done accumulates into a background that gives us equity and the comfort to be at ease but I don’t know. I hope though.
Hope is powerful. It’s a catalyst and motivation for us to keep going.
We have to keep going, and we have to keep trying. Things will work out, they’ve never not.
We’ll be ok.